How can we exercise self-compassion when there is another person involved? Is it possible to demonstrate self-compassion in relationships? Or is it always about one person or the other?
The relationship we cultivate with our own self, the self-talk, the actions we decide on that have consequences for each of us, these are a part of the whole. This is the most important place we can start.
“NO ONE can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
-Eleanor Roosevelt
5 Essential Tips to Self-Compassion in Relationships
1 – Look in the mirror
How do you FEEL when you look in the mirror? Are you too busy trying to please everyone else that you have forgotten how special you are? Check out this very touching and beautiful short video showing what happened when some women were surprised with this, “How do you FEEL when you look in the mirror?”
(Click here to watch the video) Be sure to hit the ‘back’ button to return to finish reading this post.
2 – Speak and act in the manner of Love
Are our words and our actions in accordance to what is good for us? People treat us in a manner that we teach them is okay. How do we speak to our self in our thoughts?
Avoid putting our self down in order to make a relationship with another work out. We need to show respect to both parties in our relationships – them and our self. One should never be sacrificed for the other just to make peace. Have love shared in both directions.
3 – Surround our self with supportive people
There will be times that we may be struggling with a relationship. It is imperative that we have a secure support system where we can lean on others to encourage and reassure us in a POSITIVE manner when we need it most.
By doing this, we will be demonstrating to our inner child how important and worthy we are of this love and support. And, the other person will feel honored to have played such an important role in lifting us up.
4 – Tap into your true identity
Do you turn into someone else depending who is in your surrounding area? Do you suddenly play ‘small’ around someone who you think might be threatened by your strength or not understand what or why you are doing something?
Standing strong to who we truly are speaks volumes to our own confidence levels for future events. Allow yourself to shine instead of shrinking down to avoid any confrontation.
5 – Feel Fully
When negative thoughts arise it is best to address them rather than pushing them down where they will surface again.
By making time to really feel our feelings, we are showing the ultimate form of self-compassion.
This month we hear a lot about LOVE. How do you show yourself love in ways of self-compassion? Please share your best practices below.
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Thanks for your thought provoking post Elda. I practice self compassion in a number of ways. I listen to my body and when tired, I rest. I start my morning pages every day by writing I love you Nancy. When a negative thought comes up, I notice it and let it float away. I don’t beat myself up because I had a negative thought, it’s part of being human. I use affirmations on a daily basis affirming that I am on my right and perfect path.
Nancy Jambor recently posted…Being in the Now
Some great daily practices Nancy! Because we do need to take care of our self first in order to be fully present in our relationships. It’s like what the airline attendants tell us before take off. That if the air masks would be needed, we want to put it on our self before trying to help others. Thanks for sharing your best practices!
You have some great tips here and are so right about how much this topic comes up during the month of February. Let’s commit to keeping this conversation going!
Michele Bergh recently posted…Connect with Your Readers
Thanks Michelle! Yes, we will keep the conversation going…:)
Fabulous post Elda, such a good reminder. I remind myself that we all have a different perception of the world, and the various perceptions cause conflict, not who we actually are. This way I can hold compassion for others and for myself. I also try to be as good to me as I would be to a friend. It doesn’t always work because I am human, it is an ongoing practice.
Kama recently posted…Comment on Do We Place The Meaning of Soul Purpose on a Pedestal? by Elda
You are right on Kama! Compassion does come from changing our perception of the situation or the person. And it is not the person that causes conflict but the various perceptions. You stated that so eloquently. THANK YOU!
Love these reminders! I feel blessed to be surrounded by people who see me in the best light, even when I forget to do it myself.
Naomi recently posted…Soulful home – the discover stage
Your comment made me smile Naomi! What a blessing that is to be surrounded with love like that. Thanks for the visit.
Another excellent reminder Elda that we need to give to ourselves no less than what we give to others. And what a fabulous video – we all need magic truth-telling mirrors don’t we?
I love Nancy practice of starting each day by writing I love you self. How perfect is that?
Deborah Weber recently posted…Hand Me the Peace
Oh… I am so glad you liked the video Deborah!!! It touched my heart so much I had to share it. Wouldn’t that be so cool for each of us to experience something like that? We can, with our own minds, our own thoughts. Wow!
I agree with you — fully feeling my feelings makes all the difference. When I want to practice self-compassion, it helps me to practice compassion for someone I love unconditionally — my husband, my animals. I feel that compassion and love as an energetic presence in my body, and I just bask in the feeling. It inevitably turns into self-love and deep gratitude for my life.
Harmony Harrison recently posted…This Big Blue Boy Needs a Name: Will You Help?
How wonderful for you to mention our relationships with our animals Harmony! Those relationships are important as well and when we practice self-compassion we then are able to share that unconditional love with them. Excellent! Thanks for your comment.
Beautiful messages of self-compassion and self-love in relationships. Each of the 5 tips that you gave us in this post are relevant. I show love to myself by working on being less judgmental.
Yudith recently posted…What to do when heartbroken? How to heal from a breakup?
I am glad you enjoyed the tips, Yudith. Thank you for your comment.