Receiving so much lovin’ from Allie and Kimchi
There was a time that I actually dreaded the holidays. All because it meant that I would be alone for the holidays, again.
Thankfully I have turned that around and have found new and different ways to spend holidays that make it fun and exciting. Just as I mention time after time, we cannot control other people and what they say or do, we can only control how we react to their actions (or non-actions).
What Did I Do Differently?
There definitely is not one clear-cut answer to how even one person can find some solace over their personal situation of family differences that result in no contact. Every person and every situation is different.
Some may find joy in joining other families during their festivities. I know many groups have what they call ‘friends-giving’ in place of the traditional Thanksgiving. I think that’s a fantastic idea!
This year I did keep to my annual Thanksgiving tradition of writing and mailing thank you cards for people that have made a difference in my life in the past year. I make sure they are special cards that have my true sentiment of gratitude for how much this person means to me. Besides being hand written, I make sure to seal the envelope with a wax seal. And still there was more that I did differently which was a surprise to many that know me.
SURPRISE
My biggest surprise this year is having spent the whole holiday week dog sitting for two precious little ones. While their owners were having fun in the sun… Kimchi, Allie, and I were playing in the snow. Then we were having a grand time cuddling once we came inside. They are so precious!
Allie and Kimchi cuddling with me after their Thanksgiving feast
For many years I had been deathly afraid of dogs. Seriously, very afraid. Thankfully, through using the healing techniques of EFT with a certified practitioner guiding me the same way I do with my clients, we were able to clear the emotions that were attached to that feeling I would have around dogs.
As most times it happens when I work with clients, my feelings of fear had nothing to do with dogs. It goes to a childhood memory of something else that was connected to similar emotions I would have around dogs later in life. Ever since those child hood memories negative emotions were cleared, I have had many joyous activities around dogs.
Alone For The Holidays, Again
So, being alone for the holidays, again? NOT. AT. ALL. Because I had already cleared my fear of dogs, when this opportunity came up for me to dog sit for two, I was able to see this as an opportunity to do something I have never done before during a holiday week.
There was such an abundance of joy, laughter, and love being spread throughout the house with my two new best friends and how we all truly enjoyed each other’s company. Each one of us gave the other two, oodles of attention. Not one of us felt alone. Actually it was quite the contrary.
It may not have been a ‘typical’ Thanksgiving Day as most would expect, but who cares? Besides, I am a vegetarian so I wouldn’t have had turkey anyways. 🙂 As long as each of us is happy, that’s all that matters. How we allow ourself to feel is the best place to put our attention.
It’s time to think outside of the box and open our eyes to new ways we can make it a joyous holiday. The holidays don’t need to be a ‘one size fits all’ scenario. It’s great for those that are able to enjoy it that way, and yet if that is not a possibility for us, we can always do something different that will make US FEEL GOOD.
Our attempt at a ‘selfie’
Is there a time that you have done some thinking outside of the box and created your own joy during a time that could have been a poor situation? Please share in the comments below.
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You are so fun, Elda!!!
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Thank you, Mary! 🙂
Elda I agree there are so many ways to spend the holidays instead of being “alone”. Most years I go hunting over Thanksgiving. There’s nothing I love more than to experience the amazing outdoors, and there is so much to be thankful for walking through fields and woods, searching for my quarry, often with my bird dog at my side. I’ve spent the day dishing up dinner at a shelter a time or two. There have been a few times I spent Thanksgiving with friends. That’s always a new and interesting experience–seeing how other people celebrate, listening to new stories, and learning about new yummy foods. And then there was this year. Here in Florida, spending the day with my friends brother, her son, and his girlfriend, all who I’ve barely met, while she suddenly rushes across the state to help a friend who is dreadfully ill with cancer. Did I feel a little awkward being left alone with her family? Yes. Did it hinder the day? Heck no. We had a great time and my circle of friends has grown as a result of it. You are spot on, there are countless ways to enjoy a holiday–or ANY day–the first step is you simply have to allow yourself to do so.
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What a beautiful post, Patty. Your examples of being open and allowing for a variety of ways to find joy is outstanding! What an eclectic group of activities you have experienced. Sounds exciting to do each of those on your list. Thanks so much for sharing.
The last time I was alone over Christmas it was because I was down with flu and thus didn’t want to infect my family. Fortunately we were all able to get together for New Years. That was a miserable year, not so much from loneliness as from lying around not able to do things.
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Being ill is no fun at any time and even more so when we have a special event we are looking forward to. Wishing you great health for this upcoming holiday season, Scott.
Oh what delightful friends to spend time with. I imagine you all were love sponges – soaking up the sweetness. And I celebrate you Elda for finding a wonderful way to navigate what can be a hard time. When we move forward, remembering we’re in charge of our own happiness, things shift so dramatically. And you’re such a good model of that.
What a great term…. ‘love sponges’ !!! Yes, that is what it felt like.
Year after year, I do my best to be creative with finding new ways to celebrate in my own way with concentrating on making sure I am doing something that feels good to me.
Thanks for your comment, Deborah.
So glad to see you had some fun with furry companions during the holiday, Elda. It’s incredible how canines tend to live in a constant state of joy, isn’t it? Good for you in getting creative and comfortable in finding an unusual reality for you.
You’re right, Nanette. They do seem to be in a constant state of joy. Guess we could all learn from them. I loved watching the tail wagging so fiercely as a sign of happiness. And then those eyes, goodness gracious. No matter what’s going on with us as humans, they can turn things around in a flash!
Oh Elda….I loved hearing your story. Thanks for bringing it to the light, sharing it with us.
It is an honor and delight to see you expand yourself….time and time again.
Dogs….Woo Hoo, now that’s healing! Then you opened up your heart and joy, love, healing comes flooding in.
New life, that’s you!!!
Much love and lots of friendship too….
Lori
Thank you, Lori! Sometimes I think it’s funny how it takes others to bring to our attention all of the growth and healing we each do.
A friend who has known me for over 20 years was so surprised about the fear of dogs being lifted that she brought to my attention the many different and positive changes she has witnessed me go through with these healing techniques. She wanted to make sure I took time to recognize this and celebrate it.
So yes, as you stated…’New Life’ filled with lots of love.
Miss you my dear friend!!!
For the last few years I hadn’t had any ‘routine’ of spending this time. Usually traveling and far from home, at times with family. This year, the secodn year in a row I am going to have snowless time in the middle of a desert.
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Your life is so fascinating with all of the traveling you do, Anna! Sometimes no routine is better, yes? Thanks for the visit here.