Changing Traditions

 

Do you have a tradition around holidays, birthdays or any other special occasion? Sometimes we have traditions because they were passed down to us and then sometimes we have traditions because we have created ones to keep us going through rough times. When do you know it’s time for changing traditions?

 

Movie Marathon

Years ago I developed a tradition around each holiday so that I could keep myself busy and not think about how I was alone for the holiday while other people I knew were surrounded by family.

For example during Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, it started with me watching the same movie each year. It was a movie that made me feel good – ‘Serendipity’ with John Cusak and Kate Beckinsale. Then slowly each year, I kept adding in another movie like ‘Holiday Inn’ with Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire and also new movies like ‘Holiday’ with Kate Winslet and Cameron Diaz and ‘Family Stone’ with Dermot Mulroney and Sarah Jessica Partner and  ‘Griffin and Phoenix’ with Dermot Mulroney and Amanda Peet.

A few years ago, someone gifted me the movie, ‘Love Actually’ because they heard about my Christmas movie marathon. What a sweet gesture!

Having this holiday ‘tradition’ for myself had me looking forward to the two days that everyone else was busy with their own families. It made me happy (also throwing in some volunteer work made me feel good since I truly enjoy being of service to others).

 

What do you say?

On the one hand, it felt good to finally have an answer when people would ask, “So, what are you doing for the holidays?” Before I created this self- made tradition, I used to DREAD it when people would ask me about the holidays. Finally, I had a response that actually felt good for me!

However, when do we start to stifle our own personal development because we feel safe or comfortable with a tradition that we have?

 

Learning to say YES!

In previous years, I  was invited to various places for dinner and yet I always said, “No, thank you” because I had it in my head that I didn’t belong there since it was a family dinner and I was not blood family so I didn’t want to intrude. As a child I had heard the difference between blood family and friendships over and over again.

This year, I learned to say YES and was rewarded in very special ways!!

 

Holiday Celebrations

On Friday evening December 23^rd, I enjoyed a special evening with dinner, games, laughter, and lots of crying over the most beautiful surprise gift – a book of memories of our escapades together over the years. I truly felt like a special family member amongst them.

On Saturday December 24^th, I enjoyed an exceptional meal and played games with a large number of people aged from 6 to 96 years. All of them are related to a dear friend of mine who made sure I was welcomed like family. It was extraordinary.

Then on Sunday December 25^th, I enjoyed a sensational evening with so much attention to detail for the whole event where a dear friend of mine along with her husband held a most delicious meal, drinks, apps, dessert, etc. etc. and meaningful conversation with a collection of people who were strangers when we all gathered and far from this by the time we left. How delightful!

 

“Letting go gives us freedom and freedom is the only condition for happiness.”

-Thich Nhat Hanh

 

Changing Traditions

Look what I would have missed out on had I been stuck in my ways to keep my ‘tradition’ going!! Yes, there was a time that my tradition was very useful for me and served a very important purpose and yet, it was time to let it go and move on to open myself up to new experiences. Who knows what next year has to offer. I am excited for the wonderful new possibilities!!

 

Where in your life are you holding on to a ‘tradition’ that feels comfortable and safe? Might you see the possibilities out there if you were open to saying YES to something new? Please share in the comments.