We ALL feel alone at one time or another, some of us more often than not. I have even had people tell me that they feel alone during holiday family gatherings with a room FULL of people because they feel their family doesn’t understand them. What can YOU do when you feel alone?
Confide in others
Recently, I was to be recognized with a very special award. I usually see people bring family to cheer them on when there is some special event such as this. I thought to myself how this was going to be another event I would attend solo.
Until…I confided my thoughts/feelings of being alone to a very dear friend of mine that lives very, very, far away. She kindly reminded me that I do have some friends that are very near and dear to me, why wouldn’t I invite them to attend with me?
Stop the excuses
In my head I had already made an excuse of why each of these people would not be able to attend. I decided that one person lived over an hour’s drive away and probably wouldn’t want to come, another person usually attends events with her family so I couldn’t possibly ask her to attend without them, and another person I told myself wouldn’t want to drive ‘in the city’ and so on.
Really what I was doing was making my own excuses for them without even giving them the opportunity to decide for themselves. Interesting.
The ‘after-party’
I usually do my connecting with friends on a one on one basis instead of in groups so having them all together like this celebrating me, was a whole new experience.
One of my friends spontaneously decided to hold an ‘after-party’ at a restaurant near by. Granted, we’re talking about 5 people (nothing of giant proportions) and yet, it was a most GRAND event for me! Sitting there with people who have known me in separate settings for 20+ years, gathered together sharing their love and celebrating, all I could think to myself was “WOW, pinch me!”
Celebrating with my group of friends
Photo credit Laine Torres Photography
Reach out
I think the biggest lesson for me is to learn to reach out. Whether I remember a holiday is coming up which is usually centered around family or we hear it’s going to be a nice day out and I want to enjoy being outside, REACH OUT. Life is full of surprises. Yes, some people may say no, not now; and yet others will be so excited to get together.
Choices
As I reflect on how everything transpired, I have to admit that it all began with ONE CHOICE. First, I confided in a friend far away and then when she made the suggestion to invite my close friends here and forget about the excuses I had made, I listened to her and made the CHOICE to take action.
Once I took action, all the love and surprises came my way. I received flowers, chocolates, a super-special ‘after-party’, lots and lots of hugs, photos, and best of all….I did not feel alone.
“Too Busy” is a myth. People make time for those that are important to them.
My Spirited Leader WIN Award
Do you feel alone?
It doesn’t have to be a big event like this for us to reach out to others. We can do this anytime we might feel alone. Which of the steps listed above resonated with you? What will you do the next time you feel alone? Please share in the comments below.
It would be a pleasure to share a Skype visit with you to discuss any questions you might have.
Congratulations Elda, on receiving that well-deserved award!! You are amazing, and it is nice that others recognize how awesome you are 🙂 I am so happy that you made the choice to reach out to your friends, thus extending the gift of your friendship to them. Loved being with you all in Spirit, since I couldn’t be there in person because of distance. True friends want to be there for us, even if we have to push ourselves to ask. So let’s keep reaching out. <3
You’re right Joyce! That is part of the Universal Law of Giving and Receiving isn’t it? By allowing others to receive the joy of giving me their time I am able to add that experience to them.
Thank you so much for always being with me in spirit. I appreciate you so very much.
Congratulations again, Elda, on your award. I hope that when those self doubts and the loneliness creeps back in, that you go and look at the award. Hold it. Remember the wonderful feelings you felt as you accepted it and attended the after-party. You are so deserving.
May I say that I love how you generated the group that came together to celebrate your win. Wonderful.
Kelly L McKenzie recently posted…My Very Good, Very Bad Cat
Oh, thank you Kelly! Funny how my first two comments come from my Canadian friends. Joyce is actually on the other end from you (Toronto) which is why she couldn’t join me for the festivities.
Thank you for the idea of going back and holding the award and remembering those ‘feelings’ I had with everyone there with me. I LOVE that idea!!!
Elda,
I often feel alone in a room full of people. I have learned that I need to take risks and put myself in situations that force me to mingle. The night you received your reward and we went out after, I wanted to say I was too tired. That’s my go to reply. I am so glad I made myself have a good time because it was great. I had so much fun!
Isn’t it funny how we each have our own ‘go-to’ excuse or reply? And yet when we step out and take the risk as you mentioned, the rewards are bountiful.
Thanks for being such an important person in my life Sesany, and thank you for choosing to celebrate with me. You mean so much to me. Love you!!
Elda,
I did it!
Yay!! 🙂 Thank you!
Congratulations on your award.
Thank you for a lovely share, and a reminder that we are never truly alone x
Kama recently posted…A broken glass is a broken glass. There is no other meaning.
Thank you, Kama! Yes, I do think it’s important for each of us to remember this. Thank you for the visit.
I’m so happy for you Elda – both on the award and on summoning the courage to ask friends to be there for you. I suppose it’s the fear of rejection that causes pause in such situations, but when you think about it, the stories we create in our mind are often worst-case and rarely right when we’re afraid. Love that the award is a mirror – how appropos.
Thank you, Nanette! Funny that you mention the fear of rejection. I hadn’t thought of that before except someone else just recently brought that possibility up to me also.
One of the speakers mentioned how the mirror is a reminder of reflection on ourself. Kind of like that idea. Thanks for your comment.
What a great example of how we can always take action towards what we want rather than wallowing in self-pity. Thank you for sharing your inspiring story. And congratulations on your award!! Amazing!!
Thanks so much for your comment, Mayan! Yes, this was such a great example for me to remember how taking action really brought me some outstanding results in beautiful memories.
Wow! That’s a terrific story, Elda! Congratulations on the recognition as a leader in women’s networking. Congratulations on the courage to invite your friends to share your accomplishment with you. I understand the reluctance to do so, but by inviting them you gave them an opportunity to support you. We all need to support our friends…it’s the stuff relationships are made of. I’m so glad you have a wonderful time!!!
Michelle recently posted…The REAL Picture
At first I hesitated to even go to the event to accept it because I always see people go to these things with family cheering them on and they always acknowledge their family.
Then when I realized these friends of mine ARE my family, I was reluctant to because they all have their own ‘busy’ lives with their own ‘blood family’.
What is important for me to always remember is that even though I am not ‘blood family’ with them all, they love me dearly and that’s what is important.
I truly appreciate your comment here and excitement for me also. Thank you, Michelle!
Congratulations on the award Elda. I’m so glad that you reached out to friends so you could all witness this survival occasion together. Thanks for this post. In the light if it, I reached out to my University friend. We’re going to catch over with a visit to London, thanks for the inspiration.
Oh Sheree, that’s wonderful!!! Thank you so much for sharing how this post has inspired you to also take action with reaching out to your friend. I am so excited for you!
I was glad that you invited me, and I was honored to go. We all had a good time. Congratulations, and Thank You.
Thank you for joining me in my celebration, Eric. It meant a lot to me to have you there especially since it was a Women’s Networking event. I had thought you might feel out of place and yet you seemed super comfortable and having a good time meeting my other friends. You have been a good friend to me all of these years, thank you!
I was very very excited when I got you’re invitation and really happy for you. I had a wonderful time there! Thank you.
Thank you for everything you are in my life, Silvia!
I’m smiling thinking about that evening Elda! The speakers were so inspiring – it was very exciting and when it came time for you to get the award – YOU were inspiring!! I am so happy to have shared that evening with you – it was excellent!!!!! I am honored to be your friend and part of your family of friends. We’re here for you and love you! (in case you didn’t know that!)
Big Hugs!!!
Oh goodness…how very sweet of you!!! Thank you so very much, Cindy.
This is my favorite post I’ve seen of yours, Elda. What a beautiful story of loving yourself. Congratulations on your award, and even more, on finding your true circle of friends. That is a beautiful thing.
Thank you Amy! Nice point of the story being of ‘loving myself’. I had not thought of it in that perspective before. Thanks!