I recently re-watched the movie ‘The Devil Wears Prada’. Several times throughout this movie Anne Hathaway’s character makes the following statement to her friends, her boyfriend, and even to Meryl Streep’s character – “I didn’t have a choice!” She says this with such conviction that she makes it seem that she truly believes this and she does. Watch Anne Hathaway with Meryl Streep here
When was the last time you heard someone say this or maybe you said it or thought it yourself?
Do We Really Have A Choice?
Why do you think it is that sometimes we assume we don’t have a choice? Just today, I was sitting out on the deck when the landscapers came through to blow the leaves (instead of raking the leaves) and at first I found myself thinking, “Hey, I have been waiting for the sun to pass over this spot so I could sit out here without having direct sun on me so YOU ARE NOT SCARING ME AWAY!” After a few minutes, I found that my laptop, my clothes, my iced tea, etc. was full of blown dust.
Of course, I decided to take myself, and my things inside until they were done clearing this area. Was it really their fault that my stuff got all dirty? Can I really say, “I didn’t have a choice?”
Big Situations – I didn’t have a choice
That story may seem extreme or too small to matter and yet if we truly examine whatever situation we are in, We Always Have A Choice.
The thing is that many times it may not be a choice we want to take or go ahead with. Whether it is a health issue that we are unsure how to deal with, a certain financial situation, or a relationship issue where the other person is acting in a way that we have no control over, WE STILL HAVE A CHOICE on how we will respond to the situation.
Do Something
People always recognize the tagline ‘just do it’. When Nike came out with that, they were eliminating excuses for people who might have thought, ‘Oh, I can’t do that. I don’t have a choice. I’m not an athlete.’ Well, to Nike whether a person was an athlete or not was of no significance.
Is there any specific situation you are in that’s not working for you? What can you do? Even if it is a choice that makes us feel uncomfortable, it’s movement in one direction. There are many resources available to us, especially now in the days of search engines such as Google.
If you are ready to ‘do something’ about your situation and how you are reacting to it, reach out to me and find out how working with me using Emotional Freedom Techniques can help remove blocks that may have you reacting in ways that are not helpful to certain situations.
“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.”
-Wayne Dyer
Where in your life right now can you see where you may have said, “I didn’t have a choice! Or I don’t have a choice!” How can you look at it differently, or what steps can you take to make a difference in your life? Please share in the comments below.
It would be a pleasure to share a Skype visit with you to discuss any questions you might have.
A great reminder Elda. I do believe we always have choice, but I also think it’s helpful to be reminded of this often. If everyone stopped for just a second after every interaction and reminded themselves of this think how clear and clean our resulting interactions would be. Everyone would remember they had choice and it would become easier to invoke. How beautiful would it be if we all remember how sovereign we were and how much power we have over what we create?!
Deborah Weber recently posted…Manifesto: O is for…
That’s the key phrase right there! “We have the power to create.” Thank you for that important point. I was recently reminded of that when I was choosing to use the word surrender. There is a difference between surrender and OWNING our ‘power to create’. Thanks so much, Deborah!!
Oh such wisdom here, “the power to create” love that. We make so many ‘choices’ on automatic (like what to have for breakfast or what to wear today) that I think many of us don’t ‘take that moment’ to think about it. We react instead of making a cognitive choice and I think that is when many of us feel we ‘didn’t have a choice’! Great post!
Debbie Goode recently posted…The zoo, the beach, the traffic!
That’s interesting on how you brought up about how we have many choices on ‘automatic’. I think of how some people follow in the footsteps of their parents on certain important life matters (such as religion, politics, or racism) and say, ‘I don’t have a choice. This is the way I was raised.’ Very interesting indeed. Thanks Debbie!
Great points, Elda. Of course, we always have a choice, even if it’s only in how we choose to respond to circumstances we can’t control. Did that earthy flavor improve the taste of the iced tea :-)?
Nanette Levin recently posted…Networking for introverts and novices
You’re funny, Nanette! I had to laugh at myself because it was my own fault for being so stubborn. 🙂
My husband and I got married on a beach in Key West. We got married in the morning, but we did not do a whole lot of planning with the park systems so there was both a guy there with a leaf blower and a tractor to rake the sand DURING our ceremony. The leaf blower guy came by just as we were about to start the ceremony and we asked him if he could wait a few minutes or do another area first and HE SAID NO! We were quite taken aback, but instead WE waited for him to finish his ever so important job of blowing leaves around the beach. Then, shortly after our ceremony started, the tractor came by… twice. Luckily, it was just the four of us – me, Eric, the minister and the photographer. So Eric and I just laughed it off. It was certainly memorable!
Amy Putkonen recently posted…P is for Pollution
Wow! Well, it makes for a great story that you were meant to be together come high wind or high water!!! Kudos to the two of you for taking it in stride and going with the flow. Thanks for sharing, Amy.
A really great post. I’m almost thankful for the wind blower – would this post be written without the incident!?
I’m a great believer in choice and using our ‘power’ to empower ourselves. Looking forward to reading more from you. #OneLove #Gratitude
Love that, always looking for gratitude in each situation…brilliant!
Actually, I knew I wanted to write a blog post on ‘I didn’t have a choice’ because I had just re-watched the movie ‘The Devil Wears Prada’ and she had repeatedly said that phrase about different situations that were coming up.
Listening to her say that was irritating. I have learned that when something bothers me, it means that I have some of that in me that I haven’t acknowledged or am denying.
Even though I don’t ever use that phrase, “I didn’t have a choice”, I realized that sometimes my actions in being stubborn were solidifying this feeling. SO the leaf blower incident and me being stubborn was eye opening for me.
Funny how that happens!! Thanks for your comment, Palma.
Great blog Elda! Yes we do have choice, always. It’s about each of us taking our responsibility for our lives, with all of our large or small choices. Wonderfully expressed! I love reading your blogs! Thank you!~
Thank you for your comment, Connie!
It’s not so much not having a choice, as all the choices offered being bad. It can be especially hard to choose when other people try to corner us into lose-lose situations.
It’s all about perspective. As quoted from Wayne Dyer, “When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.”
We do have a choice on how to react to situations. This is why two people could have the exact thing happen to them and they each see it differently. One might be upset with it and the other might look at it as a learning experience.
There is always a choice on how to react. As the quote from Charles Swindoll says that I quote here often, “Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.”
We have the choice on how we are going to react to it. We are the ones who put the meaning of ‘bad’ or ‘good’ to any situation.
I appreciate your comment, Scott. There are other people who feel the same way you do so that was great that you brought that thought to attention.
I agree… when something triggers a reaction within us, it means something. 🙂 I think even in a marriage, we always are choosing every day to be a good spouse, be supportive, not take the other for granted. We are choosing by our actions. Yesterday, I was also on my back patio and the neighbor had a loud blower in their yard… I hate those things too. But I used it as a chance to take some deep breaths and when they finally left, I know I appreciated the quiet much more. Great topic!
Great perspective Naomi, thanks for sharing. It’s interesting how the loud noise being there brought awareness and appreciation for the quiet. Excellent example, thank you!
Great article sharing for all. If every person closed for just a second after every interplay. Reminded themselves of this suppose how clean and smooth our resulting interactions would be. Everyone might bear in mind they had a choice, and it would become easier to invoke. How beautiful would it not be if all of us recall how sovereign we were and what kind of power we’ve over what we create?
Welcome Michael and thank you for your thoughtful comment!