Have you seen the musical Fiddler On The Roof? It’s one of my favorites. Recently, I was re-watching it and noticed how one phrase that Tevye repeated throughout the film is one we could keep in mind when it comes to any time of conflict we have with another person. “On the other hand.” Here’s a short clip to help you remember what I am talking about.
On The Other Hand = Pro and Con List
It’s almost like when someone sits down to make a Pro and Con list. We look at BOTH SIDES of the ‘what’ and the ‘why’.
When we are faced with a confrontation do we automatically put up our defenses and do everything we can to prove that we are right, or do we take a moment to look at both sides of the situation at hand?
“It takes both sides to build a bridge.”
-Fredrik Nael
It’s ALL In The Eyes
We have heard the saying “The eyes are the windows to the soul.” People usually say this when they can see pain, anger, or some other emotion in somebody’s eyes.
Back when I was working amongst many people and would have contact with hundreds of people on a daily basis, people used to tell me that my eyes spoke volumes. They never heard me raise my voice and yet they could always tell if something was affecting me in a certain way just by looking into my eyes.
Look at My Daughter’s Eyes
In the clip mentioned above Tevye says, “Look at my daughter’s face….Look at my daughter’s eyes…” what an important point for us to focus on.
We all have feelings. When we take a moment and check out what the other person’s experiencing we can find it quite surprising because many times we are so caught up in our own thoughts and feelings.
That doesn’t mean that we would necessarily change our decision however just looking at things from a different perspective can allow us to FEEL for the other person as a special being instead of being in constant conflict.
We are all connected. We are a part of each other. We are all in this world together, a part of each other in some form or another. Think of how beneficial it would be for everyone involved for us to stop and ponder, “On the Other Hand”…
How about you? Have you had a recent experience where you could have asked yourself ‘on the other hand’? Please share in the comments below.
Amy Putkonen says
What a great reminder, Elda. The eyes are so important!
Elda Dorothy says
Yes, our eyes speak volumes! Thanks for the visit Amy.
Deborah Weber says
Practicing the technique of “on the other hand” can be so informative and expansive can’t it – it allows for recognition that there can be all kinds of possibilities. (It might be fun to do our version singing as well.) 😉
Looking into someone’s eyes can be a really profound experience. I love thinking of them as mirrors of our soul.
Deborah Weber recently posted…Kindness Challenge: Week 1
Elda Dorothy says
Informative indeed! Thank you Deborah.
Vickie MartinConison says
i love the way my dogs will stare into my eyes – like giving me a virtual hug I feel. Using the phrase “on the other hand” will make more ideas more inclusive – it helps you see other sides to opions. It is much nicer than the Southern saying “Bless her heart”! Nice post – and I’m going to practice on the other hand
Elda Dorothy says
What a sweet visual I have in my head of your dogs staring in your eyes! Thanks for sharing Vickie.
anna says
Sometimes we can see that something is happening, but it is difficult to name it.
Elda Dorothy says
Interesting and very true. Thanks Anna!
Connie Hertz says
Wonderful reminders Elda! I love how you included the clip from the movie. Powerful!
Connie Hertz recently posted…Creating A Vacation Feeling Often
Elda Dorothy says
Thanks for the visit, Connie!