Shadow Work

 

 

Have you ever heard of Shadow Work? It’s said that the thing that triggers you is a reflection of a quality that you own and are unwilling to own up to.

 

 

My story

Many years ago when I first learned about Shadow Work I was very resistant to this idea. Since then I have learned to focus on figuring out what my underlying story is relating to something that triggers me.

One of my pet peeves is when people constantly take from others and don’t give back. It could be taking someone’s time, someone’s money, gifts, favors, etc.

Recently I realized an area where I might be considered a “taker”. This was different for me because I have always been widely known for my generosity with others in many different forms.

 

What is shared?

My friends share their personal stories about what’s going on in their life. They share stories about their family dynamics, work experiences or business goals.

For YEARS, anyone that knows me knows that I tend to be a excellent listener with very intent listening skills and quality interaction because I care about what they are talking about.

However, I don’t share personal stuff of my own whether it’s about family, my life, my business, etc. They know me as a private person.

 

Why share?

Some may think it’s because of my personal experiences of estrangement and yet that doesn’t have anything to do with it.

The truth is, my life doesn’t seem important or relevant to what other people are going through so why share?

Besides, I have noticed that many times people tend to interrupt and not truly listen.

 

Shadow Work

When I explore the thought of Shadow Work, this totally makes sense!

I am “taking” their stories without giving or sharing my own. How is that fair? It is no wonder watching others being ‘takers’ is a trigger for me. I also fit into this category!

 

“Unless you learn to face your own shadows, you will continue to see them in others, because the world outside you is only a reflection of the world inside you.” 

-Author Unknown

 

Deepak Chopra

Several years ago I was attending a Deepak Chopra meditation retreat. There we learned about the Law of Giving and Receiving.

When we refuse gifts, favors, or compliments from others and insist only on giving to others, we stop the flow of giving and receiving. We can’t always be the one who is giving (that was how people knew me)!

So I got better at receiving graciously (still working on eliminating my first reaction to say ‘NO! That’s too much.’).

Except, when it comes to sharing my personal stories with others.

 

Hmmmm…. This is definitely something to think about.

 

What about you? What triggers you? Can you dig deeply and see where in your life you may have this quality and would rather not? Please share in the comments below.