What’s the worst thing that has happened to you? How are you looking at it and digesting it from day to day?
Below I have summarized a recent article that gave me cause to ponder this.
Who is Stephen Colbert?
There was an article written about Stephen Colbert recently that generated a lot of attention. The first few times I saw the article being shared on social media and emails, I ignored it because I can’t even tell you what show he is on or who he is exactly so I ignored it.
Finally, I acquiesced and thoroughly read the article to see what the hype was all about. Really, most of what I had heard commented on was in the final part of the interview.
He shared with the journalist that he had lost his father and his two brothers that were closest in age to him, all in a plane crash when he was 10 years old. His other older siblings were off at school so he spent his growing up years with his mother.
Quotable
There were quite a few quotable phrases in that article. So much so that I devoted one whole day of tweets this past week on his quotes. You KNOW how much I appreciate a good quote!
However there was one in particular that stood out in my mind that made me wonder.
“It’s that I love the thing that I most wish had not happened.”
– Stephen Colbert
Can we really?
Huh, is that possible? Learn to love the thing that caused you the most pain!?! When we think of pain, most of us don’t automatically think of feeling love in connection to that.
Well, he went on to say: “It was a very healthy reciprocal acceptance of suffering,” he said. “Which does not mean being defeated by suffering. Acceptance is not defeat. Acceptance is just awareness.”
“It’s not the same thing as wanting it to have happened,” he said. “But you can’t change everything about the world. You certainly can’t change things that have already happened.”
Relating to family estrangement
If we struggle with a family situation, do we see acceptance as throwing in the towel and letting the other person win? Or could we look at it as a point of awareness? How can we be more aware of different viewpoints and different feelings that others may be experiencing? It is quite easy to get caught up in our own experience and not even give thought to what the other person might be going through.
Another one of his quotes, “Fear is a mind killer.” Again, when referencing our own family situation, what is it that we are in fear of? What is the worst-case scenario that we have created in our mind? Can we let go of the fear and surrender?
Our reaction
There is one thought I do keep sharing in various posts and that is that we do not have control over how other people act, however we can learn to control our reaction to them.
So I will end here the same way the article ended with another one of his quotes, “It’s our choice, whether to hate something in our lives or to love every moment of them, even the parts that bring us pain. At every moment, we are volunteers.”
What are your thoughts on ‘loving the thing you most wished had not happened?’ Or is there another quote here that resonates more deeply with you? Please share your comments below.
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I think Colbert is brilliant in his understanding of this. It seems to me there is always a gift to mine in even the most seemingly tragic and painful situations – how each thing offers us the opportunity to turn our faces to the sun or stay in wounded mode. There is no judgment about either, just the knowing that with everything that happens we unfold ourselves more and more and more. And it’s good to remember we’re sovereign and powerful and get to choose in which direction we will turn.
Deborah Weber recently posted…The Pull of the Full Moon
How eloquently you put that Deborah! “…there is always a gift to mine in even the most seemingly tragic and painful situations.” It is like mining for the gold in these painful situations isn’t it?
I think the hardest part is also the KEY to moving forward, “we do get to choose in which direction we will turn.”
Thank you so much for your comment!
Time makes it easier to gain perspective on difficult situations to find the opportunity it what presents as challenging. Some can be positive immediately when facing pain, which is remarkable. Frankly, I don’t think it’s merely an attitude adjustment, but haven’t mastered the feat, so what do I know. “You certainly can’t change things that have already happened,” is so true, but hard to see when the sting is raw. Thanks for your words of wisdom, Elda.
Nanette Levin recently posted…Why subtle small business marketing works
Thank you for your comment Nanette! I didn’t quite see it as necessarily having a ‘positive’ attitude when he spoke of “loving the thing we most wished had not happened”. Not sure if that is what he meant, maybe it is.
How I interpreted what he said was more like pouring love onto a situation that we are not happy about. Kind of like when a child or a loved pet does something that you don’t approve of. It is that acceptance which he calls ‘awareness’.
We may not like the situation, but we still pour love into it.
Those are just my thoughts.
I had no idea I liked Stephen Colbert! I will make it a point to watch him next week as he begins a new adventure. Thank You Elda, for again bringing profound practical wisdom to the conversations we are all having in our minds!
Mary Welch recently posted…Full Blossom
I am so glad you enjoyed the post. Thank you for your comment Mary!
I’m agreeing with Nanette’s comment. It is hard to see both sides when the sting is raw. Losing someone is just so very, very hard. What I’ve learned is that grief hits us all differently. We react differently. The key is not to judge people for their different reaction. I’m still working on that.
Kelly L McKenzie recently posted…He Did What?
You are exactly right Kelly. Each of us react differently to the events in our lives.
I find it interesting how some comedians decide from a young age that this is what they want to do because they have experienced different types of tragedies. This is their way of coping through it all. That is such a different mindset from me. And yet as you mentioned, it’s not for me to judge so I try to learn at least one thing from each person I meet (in person or from a book or as in this case, from the article.)
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts Kelly!
Wow, that is a very powerful concept! Thank you for sharing this. I had no idea that happened to him. I guess the funniest individuals are the ones with the most depth and complexity.
Naomi recently posted…Busyness as a badge of honor
I think it is so interesting getting to know people and what makes them tick. Whether it is the comedians or even when I come across a really mean person, I wonder to myself what happened in their life to have them treat others like this. I just remind myself, “Everyone has a story.”
Thank you for your comment Naomi!
What a thought provoking post Elda! The following quote from Colbert says it all. “It’s our choice, whether to hate something in our lives or to love every moment of them, even the parts that bring us pain. At every moment, we are volunteers.” I think back to my divorce so many years ago. I did not sign up to be a single mother and yet that is where I found myself with a new baby and a three year old. If I had not gone through those years and experiences I know in my heart of hearts I would not be the fiercely independent, strong woman I am today. There is always a silver lining, no matter how painful or tragic the experience.
Nancy Jambor recently posted…Setting An Intention
I have lived with the ‘what can I learn from this situation’ stance however….I am now learning to look at it as ‘how can I be grateful’ for this lesson. Sometimes it is really hard and yet it does makes a difference.
Thank you very much for sharing your experience Nancy!
I enjoyed your article Elda. I would not change anything I have lived through.
Not because I enjoyed all of the feelings. Only for one reason, I would not be who I am today.
I would not be making the choices I am today.
When I look at life from the long view, everything is there for me to learn from. Everything, no acceptions.
I appreciate your thoughts & Sharing parts of Stephen Colberts article & tying in real life experiences, was a valuable read!
Blessings to you Elda.
Connie
Connie Hertz recently posted…The Universal Law of Rhythm
What makes each of us so unique is our individual life experiences and how we chose to deal with them at that moment in time.
So happy you enjoyed hearing about his point of view. Thank you so much for your comment Connie!
Pain, although unpleasant, is an emotion without which we cannot feel happiness. The worst that can happen is being numb.
In cases of self-harm, people do it to feel pain either to distract from a different cause of pain or to simply feel something. So, pain can be a gift, although it is so difficult to realize.
Anna recently posted…5 reasons that make Dubai an amazing holiday destination
Good point on pain being a gift at times. The important aspect of that is to make sure we don’t get ‘stuck’ in that pain and we allow ourselves to move through it just as we would want to with any emotion we may be going through. Thanks for the comment, Anna!