What Prison Do You Have Yourself In?
Tears were streaming down my face as I sat there staring at the trees.
Where did this come from? Why was this happening to me?
For many years, I would deny that I had any feelings about my family situation. I just didn’t want to talk about it.
My friends knew that bringing up the subject of family was off limits if they wanted to continue to be my friend.
Is there a topic in your life that is off limits to those closest to you?
The Silver Lining
Many people and books talk about keeping a positive attitude through any situation no matter what.
Because of that I had taught myself that I couldn’t control other people, only how I reacted to them so I tried using positive self- talk to get me through it all.
I called it ‘looking at the silver lining’ of any situation.
I tried so hard to avoid admitting that I had any emotional turmoil going on by ‘choosing’ to stay positive and look at the ‘bright side’ of things It drove some of my friends crazy.
The Prison I Had Put Myself In
Unbeknownst to me, what I had done was put myself in my own prison.
This prison didn’t allow me to FEEL. I remember thinking how proud I was of myself because I didn’t allow myself to cry, both in public or in private.
The reason it suddenly became a priority for me was because I found out that because I was hiding behind the pain, I was actually suffering physical pain.
Emotions Have To Go Somewhere!
Emotions have to go somewhere.
The word emotion means ‘energy in motion’. Because our body is made up of energy and I was not allowing the emotions to flow through me, they got stuck in my body and then turned into physical body pain.
For example, my personal Emotional Freedom Practitioner learned to notice that when I suddenly had a migraine during one of our sessions, it was because I didn’t want to ‘go there’ on a certain topic.
Even now sometimes during a session, I get so tired that I find myself begging her to let us cut short the session and let me go back to bed.
Really, it’s my body’s way of saying that it’s time for me to release the emotions inside of me!
Back To The Trees
Back to the trees I mentioned at the beginning of this post.
I was sitting on the deck of a beautiful tree house (an actual home nestled in the woods of Minnesota) where I was pet sitting and was watching the branches of the trees swaying from side to side.
Suddenly, I found myself with tears streaming down my face.
I’m not sure if it was pure joy of being in such a spectacular setting (trees are my ‘thing’ – I’m obsessed with trees)…. Or maybe the emotion came from remembering a place I used to live that brought me so much joy as I used to sit on the deck and watch the trees sway in the wind.
Either way, I have learned to welcome the emotions that come my way and allow them to flow through me.
It’s better for my mind, body, and spirit.
By the way, I am dedicating this blog post to Isabelly, one of the precious girls I was kitty sitting for whom has since passed away. I really allowed myself to feel her loss when I was informed.
Have you ever thought of it as a ‘prison’ when you hold back how you really feel about a situation?
I would definitely be interested in hearing your thoughts.
With much love and compassion,
Elda
It would be a pleasure to share a Skype visit with you to discuss any questions you might have.
Thank you for sharing this. Family estrangement is so painful and isolating. There is such a delicate balance between trying to be positive and seek joy in the midst of trials and acknowledging our feelings. So much of what you shared resonates deeply with me.
It’s such an important topic that sometime seems ‘taboo’ so that brings emotions to a whole different level because of feeling alone and that no-one understands.
There are so many different forms of estrangement that we may not completely know how someone else is feeling however I do want others to know that they are not alone.
Much love and compassion to you for your situation, Barb. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Great post Elda! Emotions have to go somewwhere. What a powerful and true statement. I’m a person who feels my feelings and my tears come easily. Is it always comfortable to feel my feelings? Absolutely not.
Especially feelings of sadness, grief, loneliness. What I know to be true for myself is this. When I allow myself to feel my feelings, there is an energy shift and I’m in a better place after letting my tears fall.
SO beautifully stated, there truly is an energy shift and with that comes relief. (as long as we don’t allow ourselves to go down in a spiral, but that’s a whole other topic for another blog post.)
Thank you so much for your input, Nancy!
Elda,
This is really hitting home for me today. I have felt a nudge to really feel my feelings. I am one to always try to keep a positive attitude. I also don’t like “drama” and so I try to remain neutral in emotional situations and just “deal with it and move on.” As I have been working on facing my emotions, I too have been really sleepy. I’m not sure what I’m afraid of, but it is definitely affecting my life. I will keep working to free myself from this prison, as you call it.
Deb
Thank you for sharing your recent experience on this topic, Deb.
Kudos to you for recognizing what your body is telling you and becoming more aware.
Sending you much love and compassion as you work through and get to the bottom of things.
This is SO powerful, Elda! I think for many people, it’s much easier to “buffer” or silver lining it when we don’t want to feel. But as you said, emotions have to go somewhere, and the physical manifestation can be crippling.
I’m glad you’ve found ways to fully release yourself from the prison! You’re amazing.
Thank you so much for your support, Jess!
Thank you for sharing. I sometimes have clients who don’t want to ‘go there’ because they want to look on the positive side. I will have them read this, as it is a simple reminder for them as well. 🙂
Great idea, Dawn! Thank you.
I remember something I heard or read from Deepak Chopra years ago, “We are all doing the best we can with what we know at the time.”
And I would like to add, “And our body is doing it’s best to protect us from hurt so sometimes it looks differently than we imagine. Once we can ‘lean in’ and surrender, things can look so differently!”
“Because our body is made up of energy and I was not allowing the emotions to flow through me, they got stuck in my body and then turned into physical body pain.”
I wonder how many people feel sick or in pain but don’t realize it’s because of negative emotions they are carrying around.
I remember after I worked with one of my authors, her daughter (a nurse) remarked that her mother was feeling physically better. She had stopped focusing on her ailments and had started telling more stories. The daughter described it as creating new neural pathways in her mother’s brain. Since the mother, in my opinion, released a lot of grief as she told stories about her parents and her late husband, perhaps she really was releasing those bottled up emotions that were contributing to her physical pain. Definitely something to think about. Thanks for sharing this.
Yes, I’ve had personal experience with myself and also with clients. They are quite relieved to have some chronic pain released by freeing those emotions around what happened around the time the pain first appeared.
It’s quite amazing! So happy to hear about your author’s positive results. Thanks for sharing that story, Michelle.