You Look Like Your Mom

 

Back when I lived in the same city where my parents lived, I used to hear the phrase, “You look like your Mom!!” ALL. OF. THE. TIME.

 

Since I moved out of state a couple of decades ago, I didn’t have to hear that any more. Part of it was that I wanted to be able to have my own identity and part of it was much deeper than that.

 

The Opposite

I worked so hard to become the person I wanted to be which meant I would be on the opposite end of the scale when it came to my personality traits, my strengths, and who I wanted to portray to the world.

So when I would hear ‘that’ phrase, it used to send me in a tailspin. The hurt was deep. Since I had moved away many years ago, I didn’t have to hear that anymore.

 

Through My Own Eyes

The other day I volunteered to do a ‘Transformation make-over’ for someone to spread the word of her business as an esthetician.

I don’t own make-up or wear make-up so as she took the ‘before photo’ – inside my head, I was questioning why I had volunteered. As she took the ‘before photo’ I was not smiling the way most people know me as being.

At the end of the session, when I looked at the ‘before photo’, the first thought that came to my mind was, “I look just like my mom!”

She noticed my physical reaction as she showed me the photo to which I responded, “Oh, I guess I don’t look in the mirror much. I didn’t realize this is how I look.” When really deep down inside, all I could hear in my head was, “You look like your Mom!”

 

Saying It Out Loud

Later, I attended an event where a friend saw the photo because the esthetician had posted it on Facebook. Since I knew this person’s personal situation, as we were looking at the Facebook photo, I exclaimed to her, “Oh, you would understand. When I look at this before photo I instantly was reminded that I look just like my mom!”

Most people know that I prefer to avoid negative talk of any sort so I do my best to avoid any derogatory comments about family members. Speaking ill of them has never been my style.

The fact that I was sharing this thought out loud made me realize that I needed to address the emotions I had connected to it.

 

Emotional Freedom Techniques

The thing I explain to people is that using Emotional Freedom Techniques helps us FREE THE EMOTIONS about what we are experiencing right now. It doesn’t change the situation. It wasn’t going to magically change the similarities of the resemblance I had to my mother. Instead, it focuses on our reaction to it.

I worked on what I was feeling. As usual, the emotions shift from one thought to another. One of the ones that really got to me was the thought, “I look like her and there is nothing I can do about it!”

Tears flowed, emotions were freed and now I can look at the photo with no reaction at all. Now, when I look at it, I think, “Yeah, so what?” It doesn’t matter. It no longer hurts.

Our life is like an onion. There are always layers of the onion that are ready to be peeled off. I am so grateful that I have Emotional Freedom Techniques as one of my tools to grant me the peace of mind I deserve. Each of us deserve to release hurt that we have gone through.

Not everyone has an immediate visceral reaction the way I did to seeing my photo and yet there may be other situations that send you in a tailspin. Wouldn’t it be nice to resolve it to where it doesn’t ‘push your buttons’ anymore? Isn’t it time to release the pain?

“The future lies before you, like paths of pure white snow. Be careful how you tread it, for every step will show.”
-unknown

Reach out to me using the contact form on this page. I would be happy to have a conversation explaining how this works.